Coming Alive

I’m so tired of holding back It’s been this way forever Haven’t even known It’s been home My habit My coping Holding in Holding back Hoping to please What’s in here Waiting to be unleashed? A huge wave Of energy Of aliveness That might Probably will Scare The living death out of me Wake me up Propel me To some place I’ve never known There’s so much force So much power here What if it scares you Pushes...read more

Let’s Pretend

Let’s pretend that everything is okay. That my heart isn’t breaking. That the grief I feel isn’t there. That I don’t feel completely abandoned. That I don’t feel completely alone. That I’m not terrified of really showing you what I’m feeling. That I’m not hating feeling all that I feel. That you’re really tired. That you’re not choosing to not be here with yourself or with me. That none of this...read more

To My Younger Self

Dear One, I want you to know something very important, that no one has ever told you before. So please listen closely, because this is so important. It’s okay that you hated your mother. It’s really okay. You couldn’t have done better than you did. It was horrendous having her as a mother. You were all alone, so scared, and afraid of her. She attacked you, emotionally, energetically, even physically. You...read more

On the Road to Self

I don’t know who I am What I am Afraid to find out Who lives inside of me Hidden away Too afraid to look To know you I imagine a monster Horrid, bleeding, vile The worst of the worst Nothing that can be loved That can be lovable I feel the tension Of wanting to find out And the fear Too afraid To see what’s there Hidden in the dark All of who I am That’s been denied As if that would solve Bring relief To the...read more

All Hell Broke Loose

image from strangedangers.com “All hell broke loose!” he said As if that’s a bad thing Well let me tell you It’s Hell time! It’s about time For everything to fall apart So if you don’t like the heat Get out of the way Out of my way Because I’ve opened the door It can’t be closed anymore I want it all to come out It’s what I’ve asked for It’s what you’ve pretended you wanted It’s...read more