There is no deep forest
to explore
No high desert
chalky sunset colors
purple and peach
No great expanse of lawn
dotted with morning deer
grazing
No gardener’s palette
and beyond
a creek or
the staying summer sea
There is only a yard
surrounded by a decrepit fence
creaking in the night breeze
a hole dug for a pond
full of weeds
a few tomatoes
But the winter compost is
rich, black and hot
and steams through...
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Just for a moment
Or an afternoon
I’d like to be ten again
To be sitting in
My grandmother’s kitchen
Feeling uneasy
With the immense serenity
Of her place
Hearing her tell me
I’m a good girl
I’m good
I’m beautiful
I’d believe her
If I could
I wouldn’t think
She’s just saying that
Because she’s my grandmother
And she’s afraid for me
I’d let it come...
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I am the shadowy figure in dreams of people who have seen me drive by or spoken to me in the grocery store and I seem to say something quite directly to someone and it just slips right past their awake mind and into their dreaming mind unnoticed, undetected or ignored, maybe unwanted.
And I wonder if I’m alive and I can almost feel a hint of fear and sadness that I am not more fully here but it seems as...
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