If I Were to Love Myself

If I were to love myself The world would be transformed No feeling inadequate, like I made a mistake No comparing myself to others… no matter what No feeling bad about how others respond to me Their acceptance or not No believing I’ve done anything to be sorry for No feeling like I’ve let anyone down Especially myself Nothing at all wrong with me anymore If I were to love myself. If I were to love...read more

I Want to Be the Darkness

“I want to be the darkness!” She said. Not knowing how profound Her desire and courage went. Now I’m here with her Tumbled into this place Once more With her leading me Showing me the way She always has been Calling me to come down To where heart was lost A very long time ago She wants me to stay here forever now Never leave again I’ve been prone to leaving Hating the darkness The decay and stench here The...read more

Coming Alive

I’m so tired of holding back It’s been this way forever Haven’t even known It’s been home My habit My coping Holding in Holding back Hoping to please What’s in here Waiting to be unleashed? A huge wave Of energy Of aliveness That might Probably will Scare The living death out of me Wake me up Propel me To some place I’ve never known There’s so much force So much power here What if it scares you Pushes...read more

Let’s Pretend

Let’s pretend that everything is okay. That my heart isn’t breaking. That the grief I feel isn’t there. That I don’t feel completely abandoned. That I don’t feel completely alone. That I’m not terrified of really showing you what I’m feeling. That I’m not hating feeling all that I feel. That you’re really tired. That you’re not choosing to not be here with yourself or with me. That none of this...read more

On the Road to Self

I don’t know who I am What I am Afraid to find out Who lives inside of me Hidden away Too afraid to look To know you I imagine a monster Horrid, bleeding, vile The worst of the worst Nothing that can be loved That can be lovable I feel the tension Of wanting to find out And the fear Too afraid To see what’s there Hidden in the dark All of who I am That’s been denied As if that would solve Bring relief To the...read more